Letting Her Go
by The Mirage
Summary: [postHomecoming] Jake is reminiscing about his experiences with Rose, and how he is coping now.


**Note:** I felt like taking a break from "Life is Like a Dream" and had the sudden urge to write a songfic (despite it being against site rules…eh, heh…don't report me. ;;) so here it is. It's in Jake's POV, and the song is _Never Had a Dream Come True_ by S Club 7.

Meaning, the italicized part is _not_ mine. And it never will be. And neither will ADJL, because if it were mine, there would /so/ be a third series. Or at least a knock-off series.

Also, I just finished my sophomore year of high school. Go me. xD

I'm now officially an upperclassman. Junior girls, oh yeah.

**Letting Her Go**

_Everybody's got something they had to leave behind  
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time…_

Ever since Homecoming, things just haven't been the same. Rose and I…it was supposed to be our moment. Homecoming King and Queen – it was like a dream come true. But I guess things just weren't meant to be. I know she had to do what she did, but it doesn't make it any easier to get over losing her. I just wish I could have done something else, anything. At least she's with her parents now, living the life she deserves, even if it means she's far away from me…

_  
There's no use looking back or wondering  
How it could be now or neither been  
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go…_

I thought I would be able to get over her, but I just can't. There was just something about the two of us…but now we've gone our separate ways, and she can't even _remember_ me. Everything that had gone on between us, for better or for worse, is gone. Our secret lives, dream dates…real dates: they're all gone. Rose was the best thing that ever happened to me – I knew that from the first time I set eyes on her.

I never had a dream come true  
'Till that day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby…

It isn't fair, that she should be gone so soon. She left me before, after the Huntsclan sent her back to the Academy. We didn't see each other for months, and finally, once she came back, she had to go again. There were so many things left unsaid between us, and now I'm not sure I'll ever get the chance to speak about anything to her ever again.

_  
I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where love takes me to  
A part of me will always be with you…_

I still have picture and the dream charm she gave me to remember her by; I guess I'm glad those wishes didn't take them from me.

The wishes…that night was never supposed to happen. I'll never forget what she told me after she wished the Huntsclan away.

"Thank you, Jake…for everything. I'll never forget you," she had said.

If only that were true.

I reached for her hand as she began to rise. I didn't want to let her go yet…I couldn't.

"Jake, let go," she told me. "I'll be okay. I promise. I'll be okay."

_I'll be okay_. That was all I could think about. Although I could tell she didn't want this moment to happen any more than I did, her voice was solemn. As I looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but think that it might have been the last time I would ever see her. But I knew that this was something that she had to do…that we both had to do.

And then I let her go…just like that.

_  
Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time  
And tomorrow can never be   
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind…_

Even though my wish was able to save her, I couldn't even begin to imagine then what I would be feeling now. This growing feeling inside of me…would I still be feeling that if I had just let her go, and not tried to save her? At least I wouldn't have to deal with knowing that she's out there somewhere, far away.

_  
There's no use looking back or wondering  
How it should be now or neither been  
Oh, this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go…_

Somehow, though, I just know that would have been worse. If she had been taken along with the rest of the Huntsclan…I just don't think I could've lived with myself, knowing that I could have done something. Rose had done too much for me to just let her die like that. She let me go back when I showed her I was a dragon, and it was my turn to do the same.

_I never had a dream come true  
Till that day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby…_

I was never perfect to her, and sometimes I really messed up. I should have apologized about the Love Cruise. I didn't mean to break her heart…I was just so confused. I should have trusted her, I really should have. Now that I know that, I would know what to tell her, that she meant more to me than the world, than my own life. But it's too late.

_  
I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where love takes me to  
A part of me will always be with you…_

I've tried using the dream charm to talk to her. Night after night, I've sat in the dream corridor just outside her dream…waiting. I'm not really sure what I'm waiting for. She won't have her own charm, so she can't come out. But I just can't go in. Something's stopping me, and all I can do is dream about the day I'll find the courage to go through that door and see her again.

You'll always be the dream that fills my head  
You'll always be the one I know…

It'll never be the same, though. To her, I won't be anything but a vaguely familiar face. And it won't be real. But something keeps bringing me back to that door. If I could just get through, it would be enough for me.

_  
There's no use looking back or wondering  
Because love is a strange and funny thing  
No matter how I try and try  
I just can't say goodbye…_

Yeah, a dream would be all that I need to be happy. Even if I'm just with Dream-Rose, I could relive all that great times we had together. We could go to Paris or Hawaii again, just like in our dream dates. Even if we don't talk at all, it would be worth it to just see her smiling face and sparkling blue eyes again._  
_

_I never had a dream come true  
Till that day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby…_

But if I could talk to Rose again, if only just one time, I would tell her how much she meant to me. She's my boo, and even if I don't mean anything to her anymore, even if her memory will never come back, and even if everything that ever went on between us is lost forever, I want her to know one thing…

_  
I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where love takes me to  
A part of me will always be with you  
_

I love her, and always will.

_  
A part of me will always be with you..._


End file.
